Painting Beauty From Ashes - A New Blog

Several years ago I started this blog, The Lavender Tub.  I didn't think of myself as a blogger, or really a person that anyone would find interesting enough to follow; I just wanted a place to share some recipes and other "how to" ideas.  An insatiable desire to learn and try new things, combined with homemaking skills learned from my stay-at-home mom put me in a position of being a resource for some of my younger friends.  It made sense to have a public place to publish information that I seemed to share over and over again.

As time went on, however, The Lavender Tub became a place of therapy for me.  The death of my remaining parent (both to cancer), a job loss for my husband that lasted two full years, learning of the lengthy abuse of some children I love - which sent me into counseling to deal with issues from my own past - were all so difficult and wounding.  There were wonderful events that greatly eclipsed those painful things - my daughter gave birth to the two, most beautiful children on the planet, my hubby eventually found work and then became a partner in his CPA firm, my boys acclimated to public school from homeschool very successfully, and I even stumbled upon a little business that keeps me in some spending money.  Still, the hurt could be so heavy at times.  This blog has been a lovely escape for me as I've worked on those hurts.  When I was emotionally unable to reach out the way I once did, I found I could still blog and share ideas that might help someone.  I could get lost in editing pictures, and learn new techniques as I worked.   I could even find a calming joy in remaking a piece of outdated, undesirable furniture into something that is pretty and quite useful for our home.  It made me feel like I was Painting Beauty From My Ashes, and healing happened.  I wouldn't say I'm 100%, but I'm certainly in a better place than I was.

Since I didn't realize I was starting a real blog when I began The Lavender Tub, I made choices in my set up that locked this blog into formats and styles I am unable to change without undesirable consequences.  Honestly, I'm kind of eager for something fresh that can evolve as my skills change, and as I learn more about how to be a blogger.  For those reasons, I've decided to start a 2nd blog,  

I don't think I will abandon The Lavender Tub, for it is dear to me - mistakes and all.  I just wish to have a place to present better pictures with a cleaner format for some of what I blog about. But then again - you just never know! 

Or in the words of  

Lady Violet of Downton Abbey fame, 

I do hope you'll continue to visit, and please check out and consider following, Painting Beauty From Ashes, here.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being here for you are the reason I keep blogging, and you helped me through a most difficult time.  You will never know how much you mean to me!

Doing What I Love Most In The World

Today was such a wonderful day for a DIY blogger

I painted.....

Worked on plumbing.....

(you have to be fast when working on this little guy)

Shopped at Hobby Lobby.......

Plugged a hole......

Was on the laptop.....

(Actually, the laptop was on my leg and my grand daughter 

was in my lap watching it on her head)

Decorated for my favorite team.......

Planted.......

(lots of kisses)

It was a very productive day, if I do say so.

Playing with my two grand babies is the best job there is!

They are the decorations of my world.

 

Today Is A Good Day For A Good Day - 8x10 Printable

Today Is A Good Day For A Good Day!

I saw this quote this week, and it really spoke to me.  With so much sadness in the world - suicide, senseless deaths overseas and at home, a devastating virus, loved ones lost in car accidents - It almost feels like there is no room for anything but despair.

  

I know grief, and there is definitely a time for grieving.  It is one of the things that makes us human.  In my own life, I have found when you lose someone very dear to you - there really is no end to grieving.  Deep Love = Deep Grief.  And yet, after a long while, you just learn to live differently.  I think that is why this statement means so much to me, because it is a reminder that even in the midst of the sadness and loss - it is OK to give or take permission to have a Good Day.  My loss will not be less over time (that is such a lie - don't believe it), but it does not have to have victory over me.

What about you?  

Are you in need of permission to have a Good Day?  

Please do, my dear reader.  

Today IS a Good Day For A Good Day!

The picture above was taken by my lovely husband in Eureka Springs, AR.  I saw the gate and was immediately drawn to it.  It is old and weathered and worn, but it is still standing looking gorgeous.  I love how welcoming it is to a soul, as if it is saying, "Come venture past the weeds and the shadows - do you see that beautiful day just ahead?  It is all yours 

to enjoy."

My Coffee Garden

Last year my family gave me a pretty little bistro set for Mother's Day, and I love it!  I placed it right outside my back door, and every morning you will find me here drinking my coffee.  I couldn't resist making a sign from a dresser mirror frame and naming this area Le Jardin Cafe, or The Coffee Garden.

 

It really is such a special place to gather my thoughts and spend some time meditating before my day gets too crazy.

What about you?  Do you have a special place that helps you recharge so you can accomplish all the things you need to?  I sincerely hope you do.  I'd love for you to share about your space in the comments - it just might be the nudge someone else needs to do a little something for themselves. 

It might seem silly to have a personal space and go as far as giving it a name, but the beauty I see and feel in  

Le Jardin Cafe often changes my outlook for the entire day - making me a much nicer person.  Silly.....how about essential!

 

My Dad's Rabbit Tale

Have you seen this picture before?

Actually you haven't, because if you look closely 

you will notice a rabbit hidden in the rays of light.

When I was a young child my dad left his job in South Dakota, along with his means of providing for our family, to follow God's call into ministry.  He had avoided this call for 20 years, but God kept calling and patiently waiting.  About the time I finished kindergarten, my father finally answered God's call and moved our family 900 miles to Oklahoma so he could attend college.

Upon becoming a college student at a private religious school where there were no such things as night or on-line courses, my father had no choice but to work low paying, part-time jobs.  To say that we were poor would be a major understatement.

One evening when my mom had fixed corn meal mush for the 6th night in a row (like cream of wheat, only made from corn meal), my dad couldn't take it anymore.  He decided we needed a little meat to eat to keep us from feeling quite so hungry.  Having grown up on a farm in eastern Tennessee, he knew how to hunt squirrels and rabbits and decided to go see what he could find.  The only problem was - it was not hunting season.  He knew if he used his gun, the sheriff's deputy that lived 1/4 mile away would hear it and he'd be in big trouble.  Instead, he let out our two beagles to see what they might be able to trail.

Although he wasn't really sure how he would capture an animal, he set out after the baying beagles.  Within only a few minutes, the dogs stopped their baying and stood guard over a large rock waiting for their master to arrive.  How surprised my father was to find two, large, wild rabbits just sitting there, waiting for him to scoop them up in his hands.

For my father, this was a turning point moment in his life.  He no longer would doubt that God would provide for his family as he left behind material security to follow where God would take him.  This was one of many stories about God's provision he loved to tell to anyone who would listen.

After sharing this story with the people in his first church, a very lovely woman decided to paint this painting for my father.  It has always been important and extremely special to me, because as the oldest child - I remember the rabbits, I remember the wonderful lady named Annette, and I remember how much this painting meant to my dad.  How lucky I am to have it now hanging in my home.

I am also truly grateful Miss Annette chose to bless our family with her talents.  It very much inspires me to want to do the same for others.

Thanks for stopping by the Tub, and thanks for 

listening to my Dad's favorite rabbit tale!

Ellie

Sentimental Valentines

I'm an absolute pushover for anything sentimental.  My sister #2 calls it being a hoarder, but for me - these are my treasures.

 A silk flower wreath with real roses tucked in.  Roses from a friend that I dried and kept.

A garden angel given to me by my longest, dear, precious friend.  Her wing broke off long ago, but I repaired her and sprayed her with a texture paint that is all but gone.  I love how she looks.  She also reminds me of my adorable, little niece, Willow, whose head is covered with bouncy, blond curls.

An angel from my white, ceramic nativity set made by sister #3, and a ceramic box of chocolates that arrived with flowers from my husband quite a few years ago.

My apothecary jar is filled with sentimental treasures:  Cinnamon hearts made by my mom, a glittery dove from sister #2, an empty box of chocolates from my children........... 

so precious.

Happy Valentines Day

Love, 

Ellie

Ella Dawn

Hi Lavendears,

Last Friday was Wear Red for CHD (Congenital Heart Defect) Awareness Day.  If you follow my facebook page, I shared about it and asked if you would wear red.  I DID!!!

I wore red to raise awareness of the frequency and devastation of this horrible defect.  I also wore red to support a very special family who lives with CHD every day.

This is John and Amy, and their precious little angel, Ella Dawn.  I met John and Amy when Edward and I were leaders in the Young Adult Sunday School Class at our church, and they started attending.  At the time it was only the two of them, and they were a little on the quiet side.

I was super delighted when Amy came to one of the slumber parties I sometimes hosted for the ladies of the class.  Something about that party really strengthened the bond between the girls, including Amy, and some deep friendships came about.  I'm so glad, because the journey that lie ahead for John and Amy would be very, very difficult, and they needed those friendships.

After a while, Amy became pregnant, and we were all so very excited for them.  Unfortunately, Amy was essentially allergic to the pregnancy and had to be hospitalized for weeks because her morning sickness was severe and couldn't be controlled.  She couldn't keep anything down and was extremely sick.

On the heels of her sickness, John and Amy then learned that their baby in womb had a severe heart defect, and the Drs. believed she only had about a 20% chance of making it.  It was heartbreaking.  There were no words.  We all knew the only thing we could do for them was to pray.  So we did.  We prayed over them as a group, and we have kept them in our prayers for almost 3 years.  I don't know if you believe God answers prayers, but we all do.  Ella Dawn has defied all the odds and is a joyful, full of life, little girl.  She will also turn 3 years old later this year!

I'm writing this post because I want to share this family's amazing story with you.  To read their entire journey, and all the amazing things about Ella, and many answered prayers, check out their blog;

Ella's Journey

I also want to write to remind all of us that families who have sick children (or grown-ups) live with the illness every day - not just on the awareness days.  Ella is still a sick little girl, but she has done so miraculously well that we almost forget sometimes.  It's different, though, for her parents.  Here is a post Amy wrote around Christmas that touched my heart and gave me a glimpse of the reality of their lives.  I really want to share it with you.

Real life.

I find it hard to write here these days, just so many things go through my head, so many things I want the world to know about my miracle girl, about life as a heart family, about our heart friends. I struggle to find the words to show how it feels, how things are going, and so I usually don't write at all. But I don't want to just not write when I feel inadequate to accurately depict the feelings because despite the fact that this blog has generated a rather large following, I started it as a sick scared pregnant momma 3 years ago as a place to keep track of this road, the good and the bad, the medical updates and the feelings. It's not just for the readers, it's for me and it's for Ella.

Trying to put into words just how much Ella is loved is beyond imposable. The constant fear that hangs over my heart when I look at her is at times crippling. To love a child that is "terminally ill" to know that I'm "supposed" to out live her is just a horribly helpless feeling that never goes away. Learning to live with it is the only hope, the only way to live... Whenever I share the fear of not knowing how long we will have her, I am almost always faced with the response of "nobody is promised tomorrow, no one knows how long they will live, I could die in a car wreck tomorrow" It's not said with intent to hurt me and it is a true statement. But it is in NO way the same thing. As the CT school shooting is fresh on my heart as well as many others I realized that even though I am truly heartbroken for these families, I had a very different reaction then everyone else. Facebook and T.V. interviews were flooded with things like "I am holding my kids a little tighter today", and "not taking my kids for granted today". I realize it's a reality check for everyone, but it didn't change anything about the way I treated, or valued, or even thought about Ella. Why? Because everyday is like this for me. No, not everyday do I hear of 20 children dying, but everyday I see well over 100 fighting for life in the hospital fighting a heart defect. I see death weekly, sometimes multiple in a week. I am slapped in the face over and over and over with the ugly truth that this life is fragile. That unlike all these people that send their children off to school with chances of something going wrong so slim, everyday several times a day I look at my child and think is today the day? Is something going to go wrong? Heart failure, a stroke...etc.? It happens so fast. Will her heart just stop today? I struggle to write this, I hope my heart is clear on this, I am in NO way trying to downplay the suffering of the CT shooting, I am heartbroken along with the rest of America, I'm only saying that when you live with death at the forefront of everyday it changes everything. It changes you. I see an out of breath little girl with blue lips and blue fingers, I give her daily medications twice a day. I have two stethoscopes, I have a pulse oximeter, I have oxygen tanks and blood pressure cuff, I have well over 10 doctors in my phone I talk to a doctor/medical supply company/insurance/pharmacy etc. nearly everyday. It is right in my face all day, everyday.

I have the incredible responsibility to take care of Ella, I have never been more proud of anything than I am of being her mom. She is a wonderful person. She is an angel on earth. Yes, she gets cranky and she isn't always perfect, but I will say with all honesty, I have never ever met a better child in my life. Sometimes I worry that people are tired of the constant bragging, the flood of pictures, and videos. I worry that people think I am exaggerating or only looking through "mom eyes" and like I think my child is perfect because she is mine. Then I realized that it's just not true! She really is that wonderful and who cares what people think about my bragging, I mean let's get real, people don't read this if they haven't fallen in love with her too! She gives me a million hugs a day and I give her about two million. She always says "excuse me, please, thanks mom, may I have____ please, she usually goes to bed great, she keeps her pantie's dry, she has an incredible memory, she is super smart, she is happy most all the time, she doesn't throw fits, she isn't loud, she is funny, she is expressive, she sings, she looooves scripture books without our pushing, she is obedient, she stays clean when she eats, she doesn't touch things we tell her not to, she loves to help and she is good at helping, she knows her boundaries in the house and follows them even when I'm in another room, she is creative, and she is my Sunshine in every way.

Living as a heart mom is hard. Sometimes it just down right sucks. I've realized that I have been in a survival mode just trying to make it through these first few years, until things get back to normal when in reality, this is my new normal. That's a big pill to swallow, it isn't going away or getting better. Ella is one of if not the "least complication" heart babies I have ever heard of, her heart defect is the MOST complicated combination of heart defects you can survive and yet she has not had hardly any complications, this is about as "easy" as our life could possibly be. I have had to learn to come to terms with the fact that we have no clue what her future holds. We have to learn a new life, I will never be the way I was before I had Ella. I will never feel comfortable in a crowd again, I will never feel comfortable at a holiday gathering, a concert, a grocery store, hugging anyone, around any children including my own nieces and nephews, I will never be ready to see Ella closer then 3 ft to someone that I don't know everything about. I will never think about the medical field the same again. How can you love and hate something so much at the same time? They saved her life! They torture her. They help her, they hurt her. She has nightmares after doctor visits. I have nightmares that we lose her. Talk about gut wrenching, that started shortly after her diagnosis and has continued. The smells of certain soaps, certain antibacterial foams, saline... all of it make my heart hurt. Memories flood over me... the first time I heard her cry and they rushed her away, the first time I got to go see her, the first time we thought we lost her, the first time we saw her open chest and saw her heart beating inside, the first tear she had, the first time I held her.... all of it comes flooding in, the good, the bad, the ugly. My heart is every bit as broken as hers.

So it's time to find the new us, the new way of life. To find what it looks like, the boundaries, the ways it's time to step out on faith, the new path. It will be normal for Ella, she won't ever know different. Yes, someday she will realize she is different, that she has a special heart, and I know it will hurt her, but it will be her normal. I know that she will hate it at times, I know that she will face fear. As her mom, I plan to do everything in my power to help prepare her for this big, nasty, cruel world. I want her to see the beauty in it, the kindness, the miracles. So, my life will never be the same, it will be forever changed, it's worth it. I'm just learning to know what that will look like, I'm okay with it. It's hard to accept, but once I have, I know that we will have a wonderful life the three of us and the many many people that love us and respect Ella's heart. Hopefully we will somehow come to embrace the changes, well I guess they aren't changes since we have been this way for the last 3 years, but somehow we have to switch from survival to living full lives this way. What that will look like is really a mystery to me at this point. I am heavily depending on our Father who has always been faithful in leading us. I am always outside my comfort zone and that is hard but good. Ella has life and so I want her to get to live it. That will look different then most, and I will be judged by the boundaries, but as long as we are together and following God's leading, we will survive, and we will live. And despite the ugly comments about her life being horrible, it's just not true. Who is to say different is all bad? We have all day everyday together, laughing, making memories, reading books, who wouldn't want that? If you still aren't convinced that she loves and enjoys life take a few hours and look at the hundreds of pictures of her huge contagious smile that she flashes all day and then tell me I'm making her life miserable and that she is not really living. She just may be loved more then any little girl ever by her mommy and daddy, she is adored by her Creator who saved her life despite the odds, and if having love, happiness, friends (even if from afar), and having hope for eternal life through Christ isn't happiness then we don't want the world's happiness.

God is so faithful, this road is hard, my heart is heavy and my pillows often tear stained, but to feel the love and joy that the Lord gives through Ella is worth every missed event, every tear cried, every weakness my body will face. God's blessings are abundant here and I am so very thankful for the 863 days Ella has already spent on this earth. May God see fit to bless us with many many many more.


We have much hope, because we know God can and does do great things.  We have seen it.  We have heard it.  And we continue to live it.  Would you follow this family and pray for them?  Would you leave them an encouraging word now and then?  (Some people leave hurtful comments, but thankfully they are few - although even 1 is too many.)  Would you also look around to see if there is someone in your life that is living through something difficult that life has dealt them?  You may just want to drop them a card, or offer to pick up some groceries, or give them gas money.  These things may seem small to us, but they really matter to them.  Of course, outside of praying, there isn't much we can do to "fix" what they are struggling with, but even the tiniest gestures mean so much.

Thanks for reading.  Please check out their blog.  I know will you fall as much in love with this family as we all are.

I Love You John and Amy, and I'm so proud of you.  How grateful we are for you and Ella.

God Bless,

Ellie

Heirloom Stockings and 101 Dalmations

When my children were very young, we decided it would be fun to let each person in our family choose the fabric and embellishments for their own stocking.  Now, when you give this kind of freedom and choice to a 3 year old little boy, you shouldn't be surprised when their stocking looks something like this:

 

 At the time, I tried to talk him into something a little more classic and traditional, but that kind of stuff doesn't appeal to a little boy.  So, a bright pink 101 Dalmations stocking it was!  I'm sure it will not surprise you that that same little boy was begging me to make him something different a few years down the road.   Oh how that bright pink stocking stood out from the rest -  but I wouldn't have changed it for the world.  It was so fun letting him pick what he liked at 3.  I did allow him a re-do a few years ago, and this is his stocking now:

He went more traditional this time, but notice we did have to add a patch for his future college.  He is reading over my shoulder as I write and wants to make sure everyone understands that he does not use the pink stocking anymore!  Ha, Ha!

Here are some of the other unique stockings we hang on our mantel:

I'm anxious to make a new stocking for my grandbaby, but she is only 7 months old and I want her to be able to choose her own fabric.  Until then, she can use the teddy bear stocking that her other uncle refuses to use anymore.  Why do they have to grow up so fast?

If making stockings is something you would like to do for your family and you need some help, please leave a comment and let me know.  I can post a tutorial.

Thanks for stopping by the tub,

Ellie

A Free Gift - For You

I have a free gift for YOU

And your SPOUSE

And your KIDS

Or your FUTURE SPOUSE

If you are married, would you say that 

Marriage Is Sometimes Hard? 

I would, and I have a divorce in my past to back

up my feelings about this.

Edward and I have been married for 21 years 

and have a pretty great marriage,

but even we struggle from time to time.

My free gift for you is a series of 5 videos about marriage.

Edward and I just finished this series 

and it was a great reminder

that we need to be 

more intentional with our marriage.

Each video is about 40 minutes, 

and I think you will really enjoy them.

They are family friendly, except for the "Have Fun" video -

that one you might want to send the kids out of the room.

(Nothing inappropriate for married people.)

This is not a scheme of any kind, and no one will ask you for 

money or anything else.  We just found these videos to be 

worth our time - and thought you might too.

To watch them, just click on the colored titles -
below each tile.

 Seek God

Fight Fair

Have Fun

Stay Pure

Never Give Up!

If you watch any of the videos, 
I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Blessings,

Ellie

Goodbye, Autumn

I think autumn gets shortchanged a bit, for as soon as the dishes dirtied for Thanksgiving are tidied up - the Christmas season begins!  This is sad because winter is still a month away.

 Perhaps that is why I couldn't resist snapping just a few more pictures before I put all of the autumn decor away.  I was about to take apart the autumnal display on the entry table when this view caught my eye:

It was as if the crape myrtles that grace the west side of our front porch were saying, "Are you sure an artificial Christmas tree is really what would delight your senses today?"

It was all I needed to hang on to fall and put off the Christmas tree a couple days more.  With that thought, I poured a glass from a fresh pitcher of iced tea and made my way to the porch swing to listen to the beautiful rustling melody of the crape myrtles.

 

Thanks for stopping by the tub today,

Ellie

The Lavender Tub For Sale

As difficult as this is to share.......

Sob, Sniff, Sniff, Boo-Hoo, Blubber......

All Out Ugly Cry.....

the lavender tub will soon be for sale!

Not my blog, 

but the actual lavender tub and the home that goes with it. 

In the past I alluded to something coming up in July.  Well, as life goes.......that didn't quite happen.  Some changes took place in regard to my kids' schooling, and we had to delay our plans. However,  Edward recently had an MRI because he has been having a great deal of back pain, and we learned that he has 3 compressed discs.   The 110 mile roundtrip that Edward makes to work each day is aggravating those discs - and so we 

need to move.  Happily, it is in the direction of this little sweet pea, and we will likely be within 15 minutes of her and her parents.  I'm so glad for that because I really like this old, lavender tub house, and it is sad to think of leaving.  However, having Edward feel better and living close to my babies will be worth it.

I took this of her today.  

Edward and I had her while her parents climbed around on an oil rig.  

My son-in-law builds them, and this was take-your-wife-to-work day.

The reason I've been so scarce the past few months is because I've been knee deep in projects to get ready for the sale - well, that and just normal, busy life.  We still have a little ways to go, but I'm super excited to start showing you some of the things we've been working on.  If you like to look at neat, old houses - I hope you will enjoy this phase of 

The Lavender Tub.

So.......that's the news from Lake Wobegon The Lavender Tub. Should you know of anyone wishing to re-locate to the quaint town of Shawnee, Oklahoma - please tell them about our lovely, older home.  It truly is a one-of-a-kind beauty, and I know they will enjoy it as much as we have.

Thanks for stopping by 

(do you mind if I just borrow your shoulder to cry on while you're here?),

Ellie

Touched By An Angel

You knew I couldn't be back for long without giving you an update on my sweet, little grandbaby, right?

  What kind of Grammie would I be?  

This is a picture of my little Paisley Poo taken about a month after she was born.  You can't believe all the amazing pictures the photographer took!  It was sooo hard to choose.

 

I finally settled on this one, and I love it so much!  I took this close-up to try to show you that it is printed on metallic paper and has what is called a Pearlescent finish.  The print looks very silvery and has such depth.  It doesn't really show, but it is gorgeous.  

And this is what Miss Paisley looks like now.  She really is my precious little angel and brings joy beyond words to my life.  For you poor grammies out there who don't get to live near your little babies - how on earth can you stand it?

I would also like to say what a wonderful Mommy my daughter has turned out to be.  I'm so very proud of her.  She is the picture of patience and is quite smitten with her little girl.  But then again, look at this face - who wouldn't be?

Thanks for letting me gush,

Ellie